How to Be a Monopoly Cheat
Like poker, Monopoly is a zero sum game where score is kept as the sum of a player’s cash. The nature of the game creates plenty of incentive for players to hoard even greater quantities of cash than they might see in the form of property rents or collecting $200 for passing Go.
How to Cheat at Monopoly
For some players this means cheating, and to that end there are many time-honored Monopoly cheats at their disposal. Let’s face it: cheating at Monopoly is fun and in today’s economy, it may be the only way that some of us will get to lay our hands on large wads of bills. Sadly in celebration of the game’s 75th anniversary, Parker Brothers has phased out those marigold-colored five hundreds in favor of an electronic debit card; the new board is round and inflation has turned that $200 you used to collect when you passed Go into $2million. Some of these cheats below will only work with the classic Monopoly set you’ve got stashed in your living room closet. But that’s the still the best board to play Monopoly on after all.
Monopoly Cheat 1: Volunteer to be the banker. Embezzlement may not be the most creative cheat in the world but if it worked for Bernie Madoff, it can also work for you. At the beginning of the game, deal yourself a few extra twenties – no one will notice. Make sure you set up the bank in back of you, and then every time the other players get into an argument about whether or not landing on Free Parking should entitle a player to a payoff, surreptitiously sneak a few hundreds into your own stash.
Monopoly Cheat 2: Don’t organize your money into neat piles. Monopoly has a tendency to bring out the obsessive compulsive in all of us that way, but when your money is messy it’s much easier to steal the occasional hundred dollar bill from the bank, or nab that rent payment the person sitting next to you forgot to put away and slide it into your own monetary reserves.
Monopoly Cheat 3: Roll the dice quickly. Whoops, you got a two which puts you on Park Place, already owned by one of your opponents. But if you scoop the dice up quickly enough before anybody can actually see what you rolled, who’s to say you didn’t get a four? Boardwalk is now yours, your enemy’s dreams of a real estate empire shattered.
Monopoly Cheat 4: Get into the habit of tapping your piece loudly every time you move around the board. The other players will soon get used to the sound, and go back to attending to their own affairs when your turn comes. Add an extra tap whenever it works to your advantage. Often the extra taps strategy can make the difference between paying a luxury tax and passing Go.
Monopoly Cheat 5: When you draw a Chance or Community Chest card, never, ever let anybody else look at it. Just act very pleased, and collect any amount mentioned on the card even if the card says you’re actually supposed to pay it. Quickly thrust the card back into the middle of the pack so that if someone does try to verify the card, they won’t be able to find it.
Monopoly Cheat 6: Never tell the world when you land on one of your opponent’s properties. It’s their responsibility to keep on top of their own revenue flow, not yours, right? The official rules state that you don’t have to pay if he or she still hasn’t noticed by the time two other people roll the dice. Do what you can to force those people to roll the dice. Loud remarks about how the game is dragging and boorish behavior are generally effective.